I am considering coming back to the Island for the next year, and am considering whether it will be with the same organization. It’s been very much occupying a huge role in my mind over the past few days.
I have been offered to come back for the summer to Haiti. However, if I do come, I can only come on the terms that it be extended for the year, which I am considering requesting. This would have been an easy decision last semester, but the last two months in Haiti (in particularly, the first month) really tossed me around. I am nervous about jumping back in with both feet. My experiences with All Hands last year gave me unrealistic expectations of my new position. I didn’t naively assume that it would be the same this time around but I was still jolted when I leaped in. Like that first jump of the summer into the pool.
I am still irrevocably, head over heels for this place, this Island. And WWR would have been a great organization to return to Haiti with. I feel almost silly for letting these relationships dictate whether or not I am returning here, but, as I learned in the last few months, I really need to be considerate of my own emotional health, which is very much determined by the social environment I find myself in.
I am conflicted. That’s the only word to describe the position I find myself in. On the one hand, this promises a return to Haiti. On the other hand, there are so many things ill-fitting about the position that I am not sure. And I do need to make up my mind soon about this.